Because my life is anything but normal....

Family bios

What I'm dealing with

My family is a scary mix of insanity and terror. My kids are crazy, my husband is crazy, 
my dog and cat are crazy..... and I may be a little crazy too. Maybe.
I want to tell you a little about the monsters that live under my bed... or in my house. 
Wherever it is that they're hiding at the moment....


The man, the myth, the legend!
Todd is a welder. Although he works constantly, he still finds the time to make
me laugh and pick on his children. He's a very complex man, ranging from lazy
to superhero and everything in between. 
He's like my best friend and archenemy all in one shiny package.
I love him dearly, even if reality TV is slowly turning his brain to mush.

Age: 36
Quote: "Huh?"
Favorite pastime: Playing Call of Duty, and paintball 
Claim to fame: Having psychotic ex girlfriends that stalk his wife of 15 years



Jacob is an interesting child.
An odd mix of goofy nerd and jerk, he's still working out where he fits in.
He's an avid gamer and will play anything thrown his way.
He has an awesome sense of humor, likes to read, and loves Greek mythology.
His mother may or may not tease him mercilessly.

Age: 14
Quote: "You're ruining my liiiiiiiiiiife!"
Favorite pastime: Playing video games and beating up his sister
Claim to fame: Beating COD: Black Ops by stabbing every enemy....
Or getting suspended from school 11 times in one year...
Or being able to injure himself on anything that EXISTS



Morgan is a combination of fairy child, ninja, pirate, actress, and artist.
She loves to draw (all the time) and does a great job. 
She's very dramatic at times but also very sweet and generous. 
She doesn't have a mean bone in her body, but she'll give as good as she gets.
She's a tomboy that is somehow 95% girly princess.

 Quote: "And.... you know?"
 Favorite pastime: Drawing, drawing and drawing. Some singing, but mostly drawing.
Claim to fame: Being able to do a cartwheel down the stairs, run in the kitchen and steal cookies, and get back upstairs without making a single sound.


Rukia is a purebred Boxer. The runt of the litter.
She also has an emotional attachment disorder, thinks she's a lapdog, and acts like a puppy. 
She was raised by a cat and acts more like one than a dog sometimes.
She likes making friends with everyone, and would probably befriend
someone trying to kill me. My kids annoy her.

 Favorite pastime: Sleeping, chasing a laser light, and following people around.
Claim to fame: Being able to pee from the sidewalk into the yard so she doesn't have 
to walk in the grass.


Ares is the "master" of this house. He thinks the dog is trash, 
and he owns the rest of us. Ares likes to sleep, yell at people, and eat.
If Ares could talk, I'd like to imagine he's sound (and act) exactly like Stewie
from Family Guy. Ares is a cat nip addict and gets paranoid when he "uses". 
He fights his own feet and tail, and then acts like its your fault they attacked him.
Ares likes to lick me. I assume he's tasting me. Then he watches me while I sleep.... 
Just in case I die, so he can have me for a snack.

 Quote:"Victory is mine!"
 Favorite pastime: Lying in wait for someone to walk by, and then jumping out and attacking them before running and hiding..... oh, and sleeping on his own face.
Claim to fame: Once having a sour gummy worm inserted in his rectum by a 2 year old.