Because my life is anything but normal....

Jun 11, 2011

What happened to Jalapeno poppers?

  Now, I'm usually not a picky person, but there are some things in life that make me picky. My latest complaint is jalapeno poppers.

  I had a strange craving for some cheddar cheese jalapeno poppers. It came out of nowhere. It struck me hard and fast, and of course I was left reeling since I haven't had poppers since I was a teen. Hell, I haven't had many deep fried ANYTHING since I was a teen. But the craving was there none the less and I had to do something about it.

  Skip to the grocery store. Freezer section. I grab a box of TGI Friday's poppers. I take them home, I cook them.... I'm thoroughly disappointed :/
They're not very popper-y. They're not really spicy at all. I was left feeling like I ate a deep fried hunk of green pepper with cheese. This did not fulfill the craving. I had to try again.
Skip back to the grocery store. Freezer section. Another brand, another disappointment. I tried 4 different brands of poppers at this point and they weren't what I needed. Don't get me wrong, they didn't taste BAD. They were just missing that "bite" that I was craving.

  Some people don't like spicy or hot things, and I understand that. I happen to have a large tolerance for hot-n-spicy, but its not exactly what I was looking for. I'm looking for that nice "whoa this has kick" taste. I don't want to burn my face off, but I want to feel like my poppers aren't sissies. xD

  Last night, to my surprise, I was browsing Wal-mart. Its family movie night, and I decided that pizza rolls were the way to go. Next to the pizza rolls, I see something called "Snapps SnackBites". I'd never seen them before (not that I pay much attention to things around me most days), so I decided to check them out. I noticed they had "Cheddar Cheese Pepper Bites". Thinking they may be just what I need for this week-long craving, I grabbed a box along with our pizza rolls.

  I get home, and I inspect the box. These aren't jalapeno poppers. They're some kind of diced jalapeno and cheese mixture that's been breaded. I'm thinking "this can not be good", but I put on my big girl panties and I toss them in the fryer anyway, refusing to read the ingredients or nutrition information because I know I'll chicken out. Two minutes later and they're done. They LOOK like jalapeno poppers. They SMELL like jalapeno poppers. Do they taste like jalapeno poppers?

  I tentatively put one in my mouth and bite down. They have "THE TASTE", that "bite" I was looking for! The texture was different, the cheese wasn't the highest quality (kinda tasted a bit like cheez whiz), but it had that flavor I needed to satisfy my weird popper craving. Why, oh, why can't real jalapeno poppers taste like this?

  Anyway, I still haven't looked at the nutrition information. I'm scared. As if deep fried jalapeno poppers aren't bad enough for you, I'm terrified of what this cheez-whiz-ish concoction contains. All I can say is that my popper craving is gone and they satisfied me. I doubt my arteries will thank me, and I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of extra Pilates to make up for this.... but I'm no longer hovering in the freezer section of my grocery store like a mad woman.

  I understand that food companies have to cater to all kinds of different tastes. I also understand that not everyone has the same tastes as me. What happened to jalapeno poppers? Are they genetically engineering less spicy jalapeno peppers for these food companies? Have my tastes changed so very much? There's different hot levels of hot sauce, why can't companies make different hot levels of other things so everyone can enjoy them?